The Oneliness Voices

A global audio storytelling project that gives space to the deeply personal yet universal experience of loneliness. Through voice notes shared by people worldwide, we hope to humanize loneliness, to make it something we can talk about, understand, and hold with more care.

Oneliness Voices Vol.1

How loneliness feels, speaks, and lingers—across languages, across lives.

Languages: 中文, English, Español, Pусский.

Kate, 31, Berlin
[OV] 我會怎麼形容孤單的感覺孤單的感覺有點像是我一個人走在軟的泥土上我不知道我什麼時候會陷下去我也不知道我會陷多深然後我不知道我陷下去以後我能不能再爬起來這是一種缺乏安全感還有一種很強烈害怕的感覺.
Loneliness feels a bit like walking alone on soft, muddy ground.
I don’t know when I might sink,
I don’t know how deep I will go,
And I don’t know if I’ll be able to climb back up once I do.
It’s a feeling of uncertainty, a lack of safety—and a deep, overwhelming fear.
Monika [Introduction]
You are listening to The Oneliness Voices, a global audio storytelling project that humanizes the deeply personal, yet universal, experience of loneliness.
Loneliness is something we all feel at some point, yet it often remains unspoken and hidden.This project is a space for people to share openly, in their own language, what loneliness feels like to them, what it has taught them, how they’ve learned to care for it—and how we, as societies and cultures, can better support those who feel alone. As you listen to these voices, I invite you to do so with care—with the same tenderness you’d hope for if you were the one speaking. Listening is an ability we are losing in a world full of noise, but here, we have a chance to practice it again.
Each voice you’ll hear is an intimate step into someone’s inner world. Let’s honor that. Let’s listen with presence, with intention, and with the understanding that in witnessing another’s loneliness, we are also acknowledging our own.
Translations and transcripts can be found online.
And now, enjoy this moment. Listen closely.
Padmaja, Bangalore
There are times when I'm alone and yet I've seen myself come alive and so does the world. But there are other times I feel downright lonely and excruciatingly so. If I am to describe loneliness without using words, it's like I'm getting washed away by the waves while people who I love most are at the shore and they just can't hear my cry for help.
Marta, 39, Bangkok
[OV] Siento que la soledad viene más de dentro. Y son esas dos caras de lo que puede significar la soledad, puede significar la ausencia y la belleza de esa ausencia, el vacío que genera nuevas posibilidades para llenarlo con, para llenarlo simplemente. Y puede significar también un vacío doloroso de algo que se sabe que se quiere y no se tiene. Y es la única cosa que se quiere llenar, ese vacío. Creo que en parte cuando sentimos la cara más negativa o la cara más oscura de la soledad es porque es una falta realmente de algo, una idea que tenemos, que queremos, de algo que añoramos, que anhelamos y que no es. Puede ser una persona, en concreto puede ser una sensación, puede ser una comunidad.
I feel that loneliness comes more from within. And there are two sides to what loneliness can mean. It can mean absence—and the beauty of that absence, the emptiness that creates new possibilities, space to be filled, simply to be filled. But it can also mean a painful emptiness—of something you know you want but do not have. And that emptiness becomes the only thing you long to fill. I think that when we experience the darker, more painful side of loneliness, it’s because we are truly missing something—something we have envisioned, something we desire, something we yearn for but isn’t there. It could be a specific person, a feeling, or even a sense of community.
Dima, 26, Berlin
[OV] На этой неделе я абсолютно абсессивно, абсолютно дадыр заслушиваю песню Аллы Борисовна Покачевой «Кафе танцующих огней» - это такой советский синт-поп из 80-х, какая-то декларация то ли публичного пьянства, то ли публичного одиночества. Так или иначе, что-то в этом есть, что-то отбекается, такой звук мягкий, история, в принципе, мягкая, такая пластичная, можно её подогнать, скажем, по крайней мере мне. Это удается довольно легко. Она написана с такой позиции обозревателя, что она сидит, наблюдает, вроде как хочет поучаствовать, а вроде как не хочет. Там в первой строчке мне хорошо одной, мне здесь хорошо одной. И так легко в танцующих огнях. А легко ли? Может быть, не очень. Во всём этом деле есть ощущение жизни уже прожитой. Но эту фантазию, кстати, я к себе, наверное, применить не могу. И я всё-таки думаю, что у меня всё ещё в колледии, но эта доска, конечно, закрадывается. И в танцующих огнях, и в огнях лампы по-кроватной, и в огнях синих отросительных, абсолютно нечеловеческих экранов, на которые я смотрю слишком-слишком долго. Надо, конечно, отключаться и смотреть на людей в живую, и танцевать ходить.
This week, I’ve been obsessively, absolutely to the point of wearing it out, listening to Alla Borisovna Pugacheva’s song “Café of Dancing Lights”—it’s this kind of Soviet synth-pop from the ’80s, some sort of declaration of either public drinking or public loneliness. Either way, there’s something about it, something that resonates. The sound is soft, the story, in principle, is soft, pliable, adaptable—at least for me. That comes quite easily.
It’s written from the perspective of an observer—she sits, watches, sort of wants to take part, but sort of doesn’t. The first line says: “I feel good alone, I feel good alone here.” And it’s easy in the dancing lights. But is it really easy? Maybe not so much.
There’s a feeling in all of this of a life already lived. But that fantasy, I probably can’t quite apply to myself. I still think my life is ahead of me, but that creeping feeling, of course, sneaks in.
In the dancing lights, in the light of a bedside lamp, in the cold, blue, utterly inhuman glow of screens that I stare at for far, far too long.
I should really disconnect, look at people in real life, and go out dancing.
Mark, 64, Reno
So loneliness has taught me that I thought I used to be an extrovert, and then during the pandemic, I skipped over introvert and went directly to hermit. And even though I became very isolated and disconnected and actually lonely, it helped me ground myself and not be flitting around like a social butterfly, not really connecting or going deeper with anybody like I used to do. But one thing the pandemic also taught me was I've had a little bit of difficulty coming out of it and being more open to staying in large crowds. And one of the factors that has led to loneliness for me is moving across the country in the US here and leaving my friends and family and support system of decades back there. So even though I can't connect virtually and or by phone on occasion, the other thing that the pandemic and lots of virtual work and remote work and disconnect has taught me that I need in person contact. And there's nothing that takes a place of having coffee with someone looking someone in the eyes and hearing their voice in person.
Yulia, 27, Berlin
[OV] Мне помогает проживать одиночество, мысль, а чем-то глобальным. Думайте об бесконечно большом и бесконечно малом, как писал Паскаль. Я наблюдаю за небом и представляю космос за ним и вокруг нас. Думаю о насекомых, об их устройстве, в маленьких сердцах. Думаю об атомах, в разных элементах, из которых состоит всё вокруг, в том числе мы сами. В моём теле прямо сейчас какое-то несчислимое число событий происходит, которое я не контролирую. Клетки рождаются, размножаются, умирают, я это всё не осознаю, но я состою из них, с разных молекул. И как же я могу быть тогда одиноко, когда я часть всего вокруг, мы все одно. Я думаю иногда про то, что нет внешнего и внутреннего, нет внутреннего мира. Всё во мне отражение внешнего. И тогда чувство обособленности рассеивается. А ещё хорошо говорить с деревьями.
What helps me navigate loneliness is the thought: how does this fit into the bigger picture? I try to think infinitely, both infinitely large and infinitely small, as [the French mathematician and philosopher, Blaise] Pascal wrote.
I watch the sky and imagine the cosmos beyond it, surrounding us. I think about insects, their tiny hearts, the intricacies of their existence. I think about atoms, the elements that make up everything—including us. Right now, in my body, an uncountable number of events are happening beyond my control. Cells are being born, multiplying, dying. I am unaware of it, yet I am made of them, of countless molecules.
So how could I possibly be alone when I am a part of everything around me? We are all connected. I believe that the outer and inner worlds reflect each other. And in that realization, the feeling of isolation dissolves.
And also, talking to trees helps.
Monika [Outro]
Thank you for taking the time to listen.
If this resonated with you, if you feel inspired to share your own experience, you are welcome to do so.
Your voice matters.
And in sharing, we remind each other that we are not alone.

Oneliness Voices Vol.2

Within the shame, the cross-cultural stigma of loneliness, and the spaces we need.

Languages: English, Español.

My, 22, Đà Nẵng
I grew up in Vietnam and in my culture, loneliness is often seen as something to avoid. Because the emphasis is on family and the community, and people tend to say that if you have family and friends around you, you will never be alone. But I think that even with all those people around, there can still be a sense of disconnection.
Because when you are alone with your thoughts, no one will truly understand the solitude you feel in the quiet moment. And the expectation is that you are always supported, but the reality can be different, you know? And loneliness becomes something that cannot always be shared. Just like me and my family, I used to very close with my parents when I was a kid. But now the time changed many things. I became a teenager and my parents are very busy with their work.
So the way we talk is just about the daily things. And they will never attain when we actually sit down and have a real talk together.
Meredith, Melbourne
I wish that my society was not so frantic about avoiding loneliness. Feeling lonely and shunned or abandoned by others can be challenging enough, but if you belong to a society that stigmatises loneliness, then that sense of shame can add a layer of pain to the challenge of loneliness that I think just doesn't have to be there.
I think loneliness is a universally shared experience. I think that's because humans are herd creatures and we are sort of instinctually suited to travelling and working in groups, even us introverts. And I think therefore we're sensitive as to where we all stand in regards to that herd and sensitive therefore as to whether or not we are a part of that herd. And we will all have moments where we don't feel a part of it.
Some of us might choose to stand apart from the herd for a little while or some of us might choose to take up a place on the quieter outer edges of the herd and that's one thing and that's okay if that's somebody's choice. But if any of us feel that we've been pushed out or are invisible to other people or are somehow not enough, not good enough somehow to be a part of the herd, then that's a whole other thing. I don't think we can ever eradicate loneliness because of that sensitivity to being a group creature or needing that herd.
And I think probably it's a good thing that we don't eradicate loneliness because how can we fully explore where we do stand in regards to other humans? What our sense of identity is in terms of where we stand in regards to the herd and we need to experience the vulnerabilities of loneliness from time to time to get that understanding.
But I wish we could experience or inflict on each other less stigma, less shame.
Marta, 39, Bangkok

[OV] Y creo que mucho tiene que ver con los espacios, los espacios de conexión. Veo muchos eventos que estaban ocurriendo y ahora como todo es un workshop y una reunión y después las empresas intentando conectar también a sus trabajadores. Creo que hay intención y creo que eso también se podría potenciar desde las instituciones. En las ciudades casi que solamente hay un par de sitios que son las iglesias y los templos de devoción, que son muy buen espacio para ir a estar solo y disfrutar de la soledad y del silencio, y a la vez sentirse parte de una comunidad y los parques o las plazas en algunos sitios. Y creo que eso podría hacerse todavía más grande. La gente conecta también de manera natural cuando están en el mismo espacio y no hace falta grandes programas, grandes aplicaciones digitales, sino para mí, para mí, uso potencial espacios donde la gente pueda simplemente estar y ser y crear una sensación de unidad.
And I think a lot of it has to do with spaces—spaces for connection. I see many events happening, and now everything has turned into a workshop or a meeting, and then companies are also trying to connect their employees. I believe there is intention behind it, and I think institutions could also strengthen this effort.
In cities, there are almost only a couple of places left—churches and places of worship—which are great spaces to be alone, to enjoy solitude and silence, and at the same time, to feel part of a community. And then there are parks or plazas in some places. I think this could be expanded even further. People also connect naturally when they are simply in the same space. There’s no need for big programs or complex digital applications. For me, the key is creating spaces where people can simply be—where they can exist and feel a sense of unity.
Travis, New York City
Outside of church, outside of work, where are those places where people can become regulars and to share their experiences and to check in with others. I remember feeling this when I moved to San Francisco, that for a long time I lacked that space where I felt like I could be a regular, I didn't go to church, certainly wasn't having deeper conversations at work. At home it was very far away from where most of the people I knew were and my job. It wasn't until I found this one spot in San Francisco, it was called Manny's, where it felt like you could be and gather with people and have serendipitous encounters.
What I loved about that particular place, it was built around this idea that you could be an engaged citizen and it made that accessible by bringing in politicians, local business owners, artists, and you really got a sense of what was going on in the city and how you could be involved if you want. Maybe just by being there, I met other people who were either directly interested in those topics or just more broadly, you know, they had the values of showing up and being active and being curious about each other and the community.
It was finding that place that transformed my view and my experience of San Francisco and personally when I started to create my own third spaces for people to gather, to meet, to share and have serendipitous encounters, that's when my experience of the city started to transform and shift away from this feeling of disconnect and loneliness. And so I think something that society can do a better job of is creating more third spaces for people to gather regularly and get to know each other and not just be lectured to or not just go in to perform a certain thing. So I'm thinking about work and a place where you can actually engage and hear each other. And I think that's actually one of the reasons why also noted why parties were challenging for me because it's hard to have a deep conversation in a rave or on a dance floor.
Padmaja, Bangalore

If the society has to support those who feel lonely, I feel we need to be able to talk more about how we feel and normalise this feeling of loneliness. I would love it if there are boots across the city, like music boots, like phone boots, music boots across the city in public spaces. So you could walk into it and get a dose of your favourite music or just imagine if there was an intervention where you could have a human library set up, but just two chairs and where strangers could sit across each other and get to know and talk with each other.
I think just these little interventions might really help spread across public spaces and normalise the idea of loneliness and allow that feeling of connection that we otherwise might not feel.

Each voice you’ll hear is an intimate step into someone’s inner world. Let’s honor that. Let’s listen with presence, with intention, and with the understanding that in witnessing another’s loneliness, we are also acknowledging our own.

If you feel moved to share, we would love to hear your voice!

Kate

31, Berlin, Germany | 中文

“我會想跟他說你不是一個人,這也不是你的錯是有時候我們的社會改變得太快.”

“I would tell them: You are not alone, and this is not your fault. Sometimes, our society just changes too fast."

如果一個人很孤單,你會跟他說什麼? 我會想跟他說你不是一個人,這也不是你的錯是有時候我們的社會改變得太快有時候是科技的影響,有時候可能是政治人物的影響有時候可能是你身邊的家庭,或你的朋友可能傷害你所以我懂你的感覺其實也有很多人懂你的感覺但是不要放棄還是有希望但是你必須要踏出去找答案可能答案就在你身邊不遠的地方.
If someone feels lonely, what would you say to them?
I would tell them: You are not alone, and this is not your fault.
Sometimes, it’s because our society is changing too fast. Sometimes, it’s the influence of technology, or politics, or even the people closest to us—family, friends—who may have hurt us.
I understand how you feel. And many others do, too.
But please, don’t give up. There is still hope.
You might have to take a step forward to find the answers, but they may be closer than you think.

Yulia

27, Berlin, Germany | Pусский

“Я думаю, что одиночество хитрое явление, мы очень хотим связи с другими людьми, ее не хватает, поэтому одиноко, но именно в одиночестве очень страшно соединяться с другими людьми, очень страшно быть отвергнутым.”

“I think that loneliness is a tricky phenomenon, we really want connection with other people, there is not enough of it, so it is lonely, but it is in loneliness that it is very scary to connect with other people, it is very scary to be rejected.”

Одиночество привычное мне чувство. Я провела с ним большую часть своей жизни, в большей или меньшей степени, но я никогда не задавалась вопросом, а нужно ли что-то делать соединочеством и могу ли я как-то это поменять. Хотя я не уверена, что в детстве или юности идентифицировала свое состояние как одинокое, у меня может и слова такого не было, но мне определенно не хватало людей вокруг, хотя быть наедине с собой мне всегда было комфортно и до сих пор комфортно, я знаю чем не заняться. Поэтому отвечаю на вопрос, одиноко ли мне, когда я одна? Скорее нет. Да, бывает одиноко, если я о чем-то сильно переживаю и в данный момент не могу ни с кем поделиться, тогда одиноко, но чаще всего острое одиночество я переживаю рядом с другими людьми, от невозможности с ними соединиться и как будто чем больше людей, тем сильнее одиночество. Сколько я себя помню, у меня не было больше одного или двух друзей и тем более у меня не было большой век компании, куда бы я не попадала в любой группе людей, я всегда выбирала тактику держаться в стороне и просто наблюдать, как жизнь течет милыми меня, я всегда выбирала пассивную позицию, никого за собой не вести, не брать ответственность, потому что это опасно, я так получилось, выучила, что проявляться это опасно, поэтому сама себя исключала из любой группы и именно это само исключение порождало чувство одиночества. Я думаю, что одиночество хитрое явление, мы очень хотим связи с другими людьми, ее не хватает, поэтому одиноко, но именно в одиночестве очень страшно соединяться с другими людьми, очень страшно быть отвергнутым и поэтому, чтобы избежать отвержения, мы еще больше отдаляемся от других людей.
Loneliness is a familiar feeling to me. I have spent most of my life with it— to a greater or lesser extent. But I never asked myself whether I needed to do something about loneliness or if I could somehow change it. Though, I’m not sure that in my childhood or youth, I even identified my state as loneliness. Maybe I didn’t even have a word for it. But I definitely felt a lack of people around me.
At the same time, I have always been comfortable being alone. And I still am. I know how to occupy myself. So, if I were to answer the question, "Do I feel lonely when I’m alone?"—probably not. I only feel lonely when I’m deeply troubled by something and, at that moment, have no one to share it with. That’s when loneliness feels sharp.
But more often than not, I experience the most acute loneliness when I’m surrounded by other people—when I cannot truly connect with them. And strangely, the more people there are, the stronger that loneliness feels.
For as long as I can remember, I have never had more than one or two friends. And I’ve never been part of a big group. No matter where I found myself, in any gathering, I would always choose to stay on the sidelines and simply observe. Wherever I was, in any group of people, I always chose the strategy of keeping my distance and simply observing life as it flowed past me. I always took a passive position—never leading anyone, never taking responsibility. Because that felt dangerous. Somehow, I learned that revealing myself was dangerous.
So, I excluded myself from any group. And it was precisely this self-exclusion that gave birth to my sense of loneliness.
I think loneliness is a tricky phenomenon. We deeply long to connect with others, and when that connection is missing, we feel lonely. But at the same time, loneliness makes it terrifying to reach out to others, to risk rejection. And so, to avoid rejection, we distance ourselves even further.

Nicole

31, Berlin, Germany | Deutsch

“Ich glaube, die größte Herausforderung ist gut mit sich alleine zu sein und ich glaube, da gibt es einen wesentlichen Unterschied zwischen Alleine sein und Einsamkeit. Alleine sein und Einsam sein sind für mich zwei verschiedene Paar Schuhe.”

“I think the biggest challenge is being truly okay with yourself when you’re alone. There’s an important distinction between being alone and being lonely. To me, those are two completely different things.”

Ja wow, ich glaube, dass Einsamkeit ganz viele Gesichter hat, also ganz viele Facetten und so habe ich das erlebt. Also auch kulturell. Meine Eltern kommen aus dem slavischen Bereich, also aus Russland, Kasachstan, Griechenland und ich wurde hier geboren. Meine Eltern sind ganz frisch hergekommen und ein Jahr später war ich dann da und ich habe leider Gottes in meiner Kindheit bis zu Jugend ganz viel Mobbing erfahren, aufgrund der Herkunft meiner Eltern. Und so im Nachgang kann ich reflektieren, dass ich bis heute sogar oft nicht weiß wohin ich gehöre, so rein von meinen Wurzeln her. Also da herrscht ganz oft so eine Verwirrtheit und ja, das hat für mich auch irgendwie ein Touch von Einsamkeit, wenn man sich halt nicht zugehörig fühlt. Genau, das ist so der erste Kontakt und danach, wie gesagt, das war eher so schleichend und ich glaube so das erste Mal, als es mich so richtig erwischt hat, war, als ich von zu Hause ausgezogen bin, von meiner großen Familie in eine kleine Wohnung, die ich mir geteilt habe mit anderen Menschen, die sehr liebevoll waren, aber ich trotz alledem dann in meinem kleinen WG-Zimmerchen saß und irgendwie überhaupt nicht klar kam. Da ist es irgendwie total über mir zusammengebrochen und ich habe geweint und konnte erst mal nicht verstehen, warum. Genau, das war so das andere extreme Gesicht oder die extreme Seite und ab dann gab es Phasen, da habe ich mich viel betäubt mit Arbeit, um diesen Gefühl, ich glaube, sehr unbewusst irgendwie gar nicht die Chance zu geben, irgendwie aufzutauchen. Und ja, und dann gab es natürlich auch mit der Corona-Zeit und so persönliche Dinge, die einfach dazu geführt haben, dass ich weniger Arbeit hatte und dann habe ich es umso mehr gespürt, auch in anderen Bereichen, wiederum um Leute herum, bei einem Besuch im Café voller Leute, bei einem Spaziergang, in anderen, auf anderen Events, wo ganz viele Menschen auch um mich herum waren und ich habe dann irgendwie angefangen zu hinterfragen, warum das so ist und habe ganz schnell feststellen können so mit Recherche und Menschen, die sich wirklich auch damit auseinandersetzen und dafür einstehen, dass das ein Thema, ein Gesellschaftsthema ist oder auch ein politisches Thema, dass das überhaupt nichts ist, was an mir liegt. It's nothing to blame on me. Ja, und habe dann einfach beobachtet, okay, wir leben in einer so schnell ewigen, unruhigen Welt, die mich so zum Teil orientierungslos macht. Und ich glaube, so dieses Wort Orientierungslosigkeit trifft es sehr, sehr gut. Die Orientierungslosigkeit im Bezug auf sich selbst, so auf das Innere von einem selbst und ja, und ich habe angefangen, mir Fragen zu stellen, so im Laufe der Zeit. Wer bin ich? Was sind meine Werte? Was brauche ich? Was ist mir wichtig? Fragen, die ich mir ehrlich beantworten konnte und das hat wiederum dazu geführt, dass ich wieder mehr zu mir gefunden habe und auch ein bisschen gegenzulenken, ja, gegenzulenken im Sinne von, okay, wie laufe ich durch mein Alltag? Mit wem laufe ich durch mein Alltag? Das sind so ganz bewusste Entscheidungen und ich glaube, das ist so das größte Geschenk, was Einsamkeit mir bis jetzt gegeben hat, dass ich die Verbindung zu mir selbst gefunden habe. Und das ist ein Prozess, das funktioniert mal besser, mal weniger, besser, genau. So die andere Seite ist definitiv auch, okay, was für Menschen will ich um mich herum haben. Und ja, das ist natürlich auch was sehr, sehr, sehr wertvolles. Freunde, Familie und Beziehungen mit Qualität, ja. Ich durfte in den letzten Monaten und Jahren lernen, die auch die Beziehungen in meinem Leben zu hinterfragen und dann auch dementsprechend auszusortieren und zu verbessern. Und das ist definitiv auch ein, ich glaube, ein stetiger Prozess, der mich begleitet. Ich glaube, die größte Herausforderung ist gut mit sich alleine zu sein und ich glaube, da gibt es einen wesentlichen Unterschied zwischen Alleine sein und Einsamkeit. Alleine sein und Einsam sein sind für mich zwei verschiedene Paar Schuhe. Ja, ich versuche gut mit mir selbst zu sein neben meinen Beziehungen, die ich versuche zu pflegen. Und ich glaube, das was mein Geschenk ist, ist definitiv die Kreativität. Ich schreibe viel, ich singe viel, also ich schreibe Songtexte und damit verarbeite ich das Ganze auch irgendwie. Und ja, ich glaube, ich mag zum Schluss einfach noch sagen, dass diese Art von Kreativität mir einfach ganz viel Erdung gibt und Präsenz. Und ich habe ja eben von der Orientierungslosigkeit gesprochen. Ich glaube, wenn wir das im Leben schaffen, natürlich ist also Einsamkeit auch eine mentale Sache, wenn wir es irgendwie schaffen, in unserem Leben ganz viel Präsenz zu erschaffen, also wie jetzt in meinem Falle mit singen und schreiben, wo ich überhaupt gar kein Raum habe für Fragen, für Sorgen, für den Verstand so mehr oder weniger, dann bin ich am glücklichsten. Ich glaube, darum geht es im Leben auch irgendwie zu schauen, was sind so die Dinge, die einfach so immer vorhanden sind, die dich präsent machen und die Zeit um dich herum vergessen lassen. Ja, wo es irgendwie absolut gar kein Raum gibt für Einsamkeit, sondern dass man da verschmelzen kann in ein Gefühl von "Ich bin gerade da und ich lebe".
Wow, yes. I think loneliness has so many faces, so many facets—that’s how I’ve experienced it. Also in a cultural sense. My parents come from Slavic backgrounds—Russia, Kazakhstan, Greece—but I was born here. They had only just arrived, and a year later, I was born. Unfortunately, throughout my childhood and into my teenage years, I experienced a lot of bullying because of my parents’ origins. Looking back, I can reflect on how, even today, I often don’t really know where I belong—at least in terms of my roots. There’s often this sense of confusion. And I think that, in a way, that feeling of not belonging also carries a touch of loneliness.
That was my first real encounter with loneliness, and after that, it crept in gradually. But I think the first time it really hit me was when I moved out of my family home—leaving behind my big family for a small apartment that I shared with others. They were kind, loving people, but still, I found myself sitting in my tiny shared room, completely lost. It all came crashing down on me, and I cried, not understanding why.
That was the other extreme face of loneliness for me. From that point on, there were phases where I numbed myself with work—probably unconsciously—to avoid giving that feeling any space to surface. And then, of course, came the pandemic, along with personal challenges that led to having less work, and suddenly, I felt it even more. Not just in isolation but also in moments surrounded by people—at a busy café, on a walk, at an event full of people.
I started questioning why I felt this way and quickly realized, through research and conversations with those who study and advocate around this issue, that loneliness is not just a personal struggle—it’s a societal, even political issue. It’s nothing to blame myself for.
And then I just started observing—okay, we live in such a fast-moving, restless world, and at times, it makes me feel completely unmoored. I think the word disorientation captures it well. A disorientation not just in the external world but within myself.
Over time, I began asking myself questions: Who am I? What are my values? What do I need? What truly matters to me? Answering them honestly helped me reconnect with myself and also to push back—to take control, in a way. I started reflecting on how I move through my daily life and who I choose to move through it with. These are conscious choices now.
And I think that’s the greatest gift loneliness has given me—the connection to myself. It’s a process, of course. Some days, it works better than others. But the other side of it is also realizing: What kind of people do I want around me? That’s something incredibly valuable too.
Friendships, family, meaningful relationships. Over the past months and years, I’ve learned to question the relationships in my life, to sift through them, and ultimately, to improve them.
And that’s definitely an ongoing process, something that stays with me. I think the biggest challenge is being truly okay with yourself when you’re alone. There’s an important distinction between being alone and being lonely. To me, those are two completely different things.
I try to be at peace with myself alongside the relationships I nurture. And I think my greatest gift has been creativity. I write a lot, I sing a lot—I write song lyrics, and in doing so, I process everything in my own way.
In the end, I just want to say that this kind of creativity gives me a deep sense of grounding and presence. Earlier, I spoke about disorientation, and I think if we can bring more presence into our lives—whether through music, writing, or whatever it may be—loneliness loses its grip.
For me, when I’m singing or writing, there’s no space for doubt, no space for worries, no room for overthinking. In those moments, I feel the most at peace. And maybe that’s part of what life is about—finding those things that anchor you, that make time disappear, that pull you fully into the moment.
Where loneliness has no room, and all that exists is I am here, and I am alive.

Anonymous

Shanghai, China | English

“Whenever I'm feeling lonely, I try to remember my wish that she [my grandmother], knew that she wasn't alone because I was with her in love and in spirit.

Loneliness is a deeply rooted generational seed in my family. When my grandmother passed away, she was holding her Bible and it had a handwritten note by her for different verses that she should look at when she had a different situation and the note that she had left in that the Bible was open to was for loneliness. It said, "When I'm feeling lonely, look at Isaiah 41-10." And I wish that she would have known that I was with her, that she should not have been lonely. And I carry her with me and I was always with her. And whenever I'm feeling lonely, I try to remember my wish that she knew that she wasn't alone because I was with her in love and in spirit. So I try to remember all of the people who are with me when I'm feeling lonely. They may not be with me in my presence in person, but they are in presence in my heart and in my mind and in my spirit and in my soul. And it's a practice. It's a practice that I'm trying to remember and feel more deeply rooted in love. And I'm also starting to acknowledge that it's not just people that surround me, but the earth is holding me. The wind is with me. The plants and flowers and trees are with me. I'm never ever fully alone. And yeah, that helps quite a bit. Thank you for letting me think a little bit deeper about this process.

Rom

33, Berlin, Germany | Español

“La soledad no es pecadora o inocente
no tiene cara que venerar
ni cuerpo que desear
existe por el mero capricho de si misma.”

“loneliness is not sinful or innocent
it has no face to worship
nor a body to desire
it exists by the mere whim of itself
and no matter how hard I resist.”

silencio
y ruido
iglesias
y templos
y también
lineas blancas sobre los teléfonos mobiles
surgimos todos del mismo instante,
pero nos desconocemos los unos de los otros
y al final
de nosotros mismos también.
grupos en redes sociales
y aplicaciones para cada cosa
remedios caseros contra la soledad
de 7 a 15 segundos, cientos de dosis diarias
para el adicto moderno,
no prescrito y miserable
llámenme nostálgico si quieren
pero extraño el mundo cuando había mas de nosotros en el
la soledad no es pecadora o inocente
no tiene cara que venerar
ni cuerpo que desear
existe por el mero capricho de si misma
y aunque por mucho me resista
siempre caigo ante su dramática insistencia
llámenme romántico si les place
pero extraño el silencio entre nosotros
llámenme pesimista si les gusta
pero no nieguen su entropía
sigilosa
inevitable
definitiva
liberadora
extraño cuando había mas de nosotros en el mundo.
silence
and noise
churches
and temples
and also
white lines on mobile phones
we all emerge from the same moment,
but we do not know each other
and in the end
ourselves too.
social media groups
and apps for everything
home remedies for loneliness
7 to 15 seconds, hundreds of daily doses
for the modern addict,
unprescribed and miserable
call me nostalgic if you want
but I miss the world when there were more of us in it
loneliness is not sinful or innocent
it has no face to worship
nor a body to desire
it exists by the mere whim of itself
and no matter how hard I resist
I always fall before its dramatic insistence
call me romantic if you like
but I miss the silence between us
call me pessimistic if you like
but don't deny its entropy
stealthy
inevitable
definitive
liberating
I miss when there were more of us in the world.

Sarra

31, Lisbon, Portugal | English

“I'm never bored when I'm surrounded by my books. I'm never really lonely. I live within those pages. And more and more, I found myself craving these moments where I'd retract my world.”

When I'm alone, am I lonely? I've actually thought about this question a couple days ago, and the feeling I got was internal peace. I wouldn't know how to describe it, but growing up, I didn't tolerate my peers' gatherings. I wasn't interested in the subject they were interested in, so that left us with few discussions. And more often than not, I found myself hanging out by myself. And that's how I got my love for books. I'm never bored when I'm surrounded by my books. I'm never really lonely. I live within those pages. And more and more, I found myself craving these moments where I'd retract my world. My friends up to college weren't very understanding. My love for my own company labeled me as weirdo. And soon enough, people lost interest in cultivating a relationship with me. Yet, somehow, when spending time alone became a trend on social media, and I got glamourized to a label of "me time", those same people are advocating for it now. It's weird how the world works. I guess that I'm more mature now, I'm so grateful for those moments. I believe they shaped the person I am today. I know what I like, what I don't like in deeper levels. And most importantly, I learned not to tolerate anything that would upset this balance. I am at peace with myself.